Thursday, August 2, 2012
Vlogging
I've got a Vlog y'all....snowywhite79 over on youtube. It's all about WLS so only bother if you're at all interested in that journey. It's really rather therapeutic...I'm enjoying it. I enjoy blogging too...but am finding vlogging a little less time consuming...so at the moment that's where most of my resources are going...plus I can vlog a lot easier than I can blog:)
Monday, July 30, 2012
Lonely...
Agh who would have thought moving an hour away would mean I now have no local friends...there was an issue prior to moving that was causing me to question a relationship BUT I have such a hard time letting "friends" go...makes my heart hurt. *sigh*
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Life update:)
So lots going on lately...got registered for fall classes...intro to biology w/lab and nutrition. These are both anytime anywhere classes so I will be able to do them from home while I recover from surgery:)
Surgery...I was told approx 2 to 3 weeks ago that I should be submitted to insurance within a week. Called insurance today to check status...and they haven't received the paperwork. Called my financial advisor at the surgeons and left a message. No call back yet.
Tonight at work I was working, working working and then stood up to change tasks...about fell on my butt. So I finished task I got up for while dealing with dizziness. Then went up to have my bp checked...wahoo for 146/99...yep...stupid bp was high again...called my dr...she adjusted how I take my med and wants me to monitor my bp daily...if it doesn't improve in a few days come on in...*sigh* Checked it at the grocery two blocks from the house, figure I can go over there everyday, and it was 127/89...so better but still high. Oh well just another comorbidity that will prove to the insurance I need this surgery.
Princess is quickly approaching 7...7 years old! And she's got drama camp coming up. And she's so full of sass and attitude, that's probably why my bp is high.
I'm addicted to One Tree Hill and getting caught up thanks to Netflix streaming:) I've made it to season 8.
I'm reading Hunger for Happiness and have Fifty Shades of Grey on the nightstand.
I'm not taking summer classes but feel as if VSG and WLS journeys is my class. I'm reading lots of personal stories and listening/watching lots of personal journeys on youtube. Obesityhelp.com and vsgtalk.com as well as soulcysters.com have given me lots of info. Then there's the 2 inch ring binder my surgeons office gave me.
In the last month we've moved and Princess and I have taken 2 trips. We went to a very good friends 40th birthday sesame street themed celebration in Minneapolis MN for a long weekend. Then we went for a week long trip to GA that was much fun. We spent a ton of time with family and unfortunately very little time with friends. However, sometimes sacrifices must be made. We can't travel for as long now that I have a grown up job.
On the job front, I truly love it! I've had an issues with one particular co worker talking about me behind my back. I had a discussion with my boss and have moved on...thankfully with my shift I don't have to overlap too much with this person. I don't think I'd mind it if this person would at least attempt to get to know me...but oh well. I'm developing some friends there and really enjoy the work. So I will continue to pursue my education to become a pharmacist. I will not delve into the fear Obamacare has placed on me and my husband about my ability to payback my student loans once I've completed said degree.
So that's my update!
Surgery...I was told approx 2 to 3 weeks ago that I should be submitted to insurance within a week. Called insurance today to check status...and they haven't received the paperwork. Called my financial advisor at the surgeons and left a message. No call back yet.
Tonight at work I was working, working working and then stood up to change tasks...about fell on my butt. So I finished task I got up for while dealing with dizziness. Then went up to have my bp checked...wahoo for 146/99...yep...stupid bp was high again...called my dr...she adjusted how I take my med and wants me to monitor my bp daily...if it doesn't improve in a few days come on in...*sigh* Checked it at the grocery two blocks from the house, figure I can go over there everyday, and it was 127/89...so better but still high. Oh well just another comorbidity that will prove to the insurance I need this surgery.
Princess is quickly approaching 7...7 years old! And she's got drama camp coming up. And she's so full of sass and attitude, that's probably why my bp is high.
I'm addicted to One Tree Hill and getting caught up thanks to Netflix streaming:) I've made it to season 8.
I'm reading Hunger for Happiness and have Fifty Shades of Grey on the nightstand.
I'm not taking summer classes but feel as if VSG and WLS journeys is my class. I'm reading lots of personal stories and listening/watching lots of personal journeys on youtube. Obesityhelp.com and vsgtalk.com as well as soulcysters.com have given me lots of info. Then there's the 2 inch ring binder my surgeons office gave me.
In the last month we've moved and Princess and I have taken 2 trips. We went to a very good friends 40th birthday sesame street themed celebration in Minneapolis MN for a long weekend. Then we went for a week long trip to GA that was much fun. We spent a ton of time with family and unfortunately very little time with friends. However, sometimes sacrifices must be made. We can't travel for as long now that I have a grown up job.
On the job front, I truly love it! I've had an issues with one particular co worker talking about me behind my back. I had a discussion with my boss and have moved on...thankfully with my shift I don't have to overlap too much with this person. I don't think I'd mind it if this person would at least attempt to get to know me...but oh well. I'm developing some friends there and really enjoy the work. So I will continue to pursue my education to become a pharmacist. I will not delve into the fear Obamacare has placed on me and my husband about my ability to payback my student loans once I've completed said degree.
So that's my update!
Friday, June 15, 2012
Insurance hoops
This morning I met with the psychologist for the last mandatory session prior to surgery. I've completed my 6 month supervised diet. I've attended the mandatory support group session. Now we wait. First we wait for the dictation of all the appts to be complete. That should take 1 to 2 weeks. Then they will submit me to insurance for approval. That should take from 1 to 6 weeks. So it's looking like I'm on track to have 85% of my stomach removed come the middle of August. I'm excited and nervous. I'm very excited that the majority of the Ghrelin hormones will be removed.
In other news I got my first pedicure last weekend...and yesterday I left the Drs office with a very strong antibiotic because I have an infection in my left big toe...sigh. No more professional pedicures for me! Will stick to the fun mom/daughter bonding ones we do at home.
And the nice surprise yesterday...I'm down to 279. I went away last weekend and ate out and ate out, one place including The Melting Pot and I managed to lose a couple of pounds! I'm super excited that the changes I'm making are working!
Those changes combined with the tool I'll be getting in August make me hopefully that there's a new life unfolding at my feet!
In other news I got my first pedicure last weekend...and yesterday I left the Drs office with a very strong antibiotic because I have an infection in my left big toe...sigh. No more professional pedicures for me! Will stick to the fun mom/daughter bonding ones we do at home.
And the nice surprise yesterday...I'm down to 279. I went away last weekend and ate out and ate out, one place including The Melting Pot and I managed to lose a couple of pounds! I'm super excited that the changes I'm making are working!
Those changes combined with the tool I'll be getting in August make me hopefully that there's a new life unfolding at my feet!
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
My history...
A quick review of my weight for the last 33 years...I don't remember being overweight when I was very little. I see pictures of myself and I was a fairly normal sized kiddo. Then puberty started kicking in...and it wasn't recognized that it was puberty because I was sooooo young. However, once those lovely hormones kicked in I started gaining weight. I was an active child...I played tball, softball, basketball, was in gymnastics and baton. I loved to climb trees and be outside. I'd pretend my nap pad was a hurdle and try to jump it in preparation for my future as a track star. I loved to ride my bike for hours at a time. I've always adored swimming so at any opportunity. Once we moved out of town I'd explore and climb through the woods. I eventually started being less and less active...and that didn't help the weight at all.
So key events/weights I recall: 5th grade leaving the clinic having weighed in at 164...and my mom's comment of "well I knew you were big but I didn't realize you were that thick as well." That means in 5th grade my BMI was 28.4 and that's overweight my friends. (I was already the height I am now.)
Between 5th grade and graduation I gained up to 195. So when I graduated high school my BMI was 33.7 and obese but at least only moderately obese.
The first time I got married I was 20 and weighed 222. So my BMI was 38.4 and severely obese.
When I went for my first ob appt with princess I weighed in at 263. BMI of 45.5 and morbidly obese...
When I moved to IA to plan my wedding and start my life with my amazing hubby I weighed in at 254. I'd actually been able to lose some weight by living off of lean cuisine's and hitting the Y for Zumba 5 days a week and weights 3 of those 5. BMI of 43.9 and still morbidly obese.
Earlier this year I hit my all time high of 297 making my BMI 51.4. Well at least it almost matched my waist size...? Seriously that's ridiculous! And yes that means I was yet again morbidly obese...but is there a super morbidly obese category, b/c I should so be in that one.
I'm currently 281 with a BMI of 48.6 so at least I'm below the 50s...still morbidly obese.
Plenty of comments I remember from my life of being overweight:
6th grade from a boy desk mate that I won't name though I remember...and I don't think he was attempting to make me cry myself to sleep that night..."too bad girls can't play football you'd be a great defensive blocker"
Many times over the many years from friends to my face or behind my back "try Jenny Craig" "try weight watchers" "put the fork down" "just walk away from the food."
From middle school through sophomore year I was bulimic. This didn't help me lose weight but it did help me not gain. It helped me feel in control of my life when I felt so out of control in so many other areas.
I'm definitely an emotional eater and that began way back...like 4 or 5. I'd go to my dad's for the weekends and be miserable. One of the perks was going to the grocery store and picking out ice cream. I'd fix a big bowl and then I'd sit and mix the ice cream with a spoon until it was a nice milk shaky texture. It would take hours for me to eat one bowl of ice cream. However, this allowed me to not not interact with my dad or his parents. It helped me escape. I warned my husband when I first met him that if he ever caught me swirling ice cream to rip the bowl away from me and force me to talk.
When my grandmother fell and broke her hip. When she didn't pull through the surgery, when she was in icu and coding, fighting for her life...the time frame was approx 36 hrs...I ate 3 big bags of peanut m&ms...yep that's right...3 of the biggest bags you can buy.
I've begun to recognize my bad behaviors. I'm learning to realize food doesn't offer comfort. I'm learning to accept my emotions and deal with them when they happen...I've got a long way to go both in the lbs I need to lose and in the growing I need to do. I'm excited for my surgery because it will be a huge tool to help me, force me, assist me, encourage me to continue to grow and become healthy and whole.
Through the years I've tried many diets, many work out routines, etc. I would lose just a smidge...but then hit a wall...whether it was emotional or complications from the PCOS I'd give up. With this surgery there is no giving up, it's irreversible! The last therapy session I had I made a casual comment that I've thought about almost constantly since..."PCOS isn't the reason I got to almost 300 lbs. It didn't help, but it's not the only reason." For the first time in my life I quit leaning on that crutch...and over the last month I've repeated that to myself...I believe it. Now I'm starting to embrace it...I am the reason I got to almost 300 lbs...PCOS is only one of the many reasons. It's the one reason I cannot change...but this surgery will help me fight it. Therapy will help me fight myself. God will give me the strength. The love and support of my friends and family will help me stay encouraged to win this battle that I've lost for 33 years. I want to be whole. I want to be healthy. I want to be the lady God created me to be...I want more. I want to give more. I want to be more.
So key events/weights I recall: 5th grade leaving the clinic having weighed in at 164...and my mom's comment of "well I knew you were big but I didn't realize you were that thick as well." That means in 5th grade my BMI was 28.4 and that's overweight my friends. (I was already the height I am now.)
Between 5th grade and graduation I gained up to 195. So when I graduated high school my BMI was 33.7 and obese but at least only moderately obese.
The first time I got married I was 20 and weighed 222. So my BMI was 38.4 and severely obese.
When I went for my first ob appt with princess I weighed in at 263. BMI of 45.5 and morbidly obese...
When I moved to IA to plan my wedding and start my life with my amazing hubby I weighed in at 254. I'd actually been able to lose some weight by living off of lean cuisine's and hitting the Y for Zumba 5 days a week and weights 3 of those 5. BMI of 43.9 and still morbidly obese.
Earlier this year I hit my all time high of 297 making my BMI 51.4. Well at least it almost matched my waist size...? Seriously that's ridiculous! And yes that means I was yet again morbidly obese...but is there a super morbidly obese category, b/c I should so be in that one.
I'm currently 281 with a BMI of 48.6 so at least I'm below the 50s...still morbidly obese.
Plenty of comments I remember from my life of being overweight:
6th grade from a boy desk mate that I won't name though I remember...and I don't think he was attempting to make me cry myself to sleep that night..."too bad girls can't play football you'd be a great defensive blocker"
Many times over the many years from friends to my face or behind my back "try Jenny Craig" "try weight watchers" "put the fork down" "just walk away from the food."
From middle school through sophomore year I was bulimic. This didn't help me lose weight but it did help me not gain. It helped me feel in control of my life when I felt so out of control in so many other areas.
I'm definitely an emotional eater and that began way back...like 4 or 5. I'd go to my dad's for the weekends and be miserable. One of the perks was going to the grocery store and picking out ice cream. I'd fix a big bowl and then I'd sit and mix the ice cream with a spoon until it was a nice milk shaky texture. It would take hours for me to eat one bowl of ice cream. However, this allowed me to not not interact with my dad or his parents. It helped me escape. I warned my husband when I first met him that if he ever caught me swirling ice cream to rip the bowl away from me and force me to talk.
When my grandmother fell and broke her hip. When she didn't pull through the surgery, when she was in icu and coding, fighting for her life...the time frame was approx 36 hrs...I ate 3 big bags of peanut m&ms...yep that's right...3 of the biggest bags you can buy.
I've begun to recognize my bad behaviors. I'm learning to realize food doesn't offer comfort. I'm learning to accept my emotions and deal with them when they happen...I've got a long way to go both in the lbs I need to lose and in the growing I need to do. I'm excited for my surgery because it will be a huge tool to help me, force me, assist me, encourage me to continue to grow and become healthy and whole.
Through the years I've tried many diets, many work out routines, etc. I would lose just a smidge...but then hit a wall...whether it was emotional or complications from the PCOS I'd give up. With this surgery there is no giving up, it's irreversible! The last therapy session I had I made a casual comment that I've thought about almost constantly since..."PCOS isn't the reason I got to almost 300 lbs. It didn't help, but it's not the only reason." For the first time in my life I quit leaning on that crutch...and over the last month I've repeated that to myself...I believe it. Now I'm starting to embrace it...I am the reason I got to almost 300 lbs...PCOS is only one of the many reasons. It's the one reason I cannot change...but this surgery will help me fight it. Therapy will help me fight myself. God will give me the strength. The love and support of my friends and family will help me stay encouraged to win this battle that I've lost for 33 years. I want to be whole. I want to be healthy. I want to be the lady God created me to be...I want more. I want to give more. I want to be more.
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
So NOT the easy way out...
Many years ago I recall making the comment..."oh that's the easy way out." Now I'm a lot more educated and preparing to take that way. I have two more insurance hoops to dive through and then I will be submitted by my surgeon for approval for vertical sleeve gastrectomy surgery.
My OB/GYN suggestes bariatric surgery to me 2 visits ago...at the time I looked into it. I learned a lot at that time. BUT I decided that I had never really committed 100% to a weight loss regimen. So I signed up for Weight Watchers. I followed the plan and worked hard for a year...and I lost a whopping 9lbs. Frustration of course sat in and I went back to bad habits. Which led to reaching my all time high of 297 lbs...That's right...I was 3 lbs from 300...I went to my Dr and said HELP! So we tried this med...I took it for 3 weeks at which time my blood pressure got higher and higher but I lost about 15lbs. She wouldn't let me stay on the meds in spite of the weight loss because of the high blood pressure. I've been off the med for over 3 months now and we're still trying to get my blood pressure back to what it was before. During the 3 weeks I was on the med I saw my OB/GYN for my yearly...we talked about many things, my pcos, how we'd been of birth control for over a year and weren't pregnant, how I really wanted to loss weight, how I'd done WW for 1 year and lost 9lbs...she brought up weight loss surgery again. I promised to do more research and seriously consider it. And that brings us to here. In approximately 2 months I'll have 75% of my stomach removed. I've researched all 3 options my insurance covers and through long discussions with my hubby and surgeon feel this is the best option for me.
I hope you'll support me with your prayers and encouragement. I need help, I need a tool. I don't want to die early from cardiac or diabetes complications. I want to have more adorable babies. I want to grow old and gray with my amazing husband! I want to see my baby get married and have her own babies. I want to live a life I've only ever imagined because I've always been over weight. I want to feel in control of my life, health, pcos and fertility!
My OB/GYN suggestes bariatric surgery to me 2 visits ago...at the time I looked into it. I learned a lot at that time. BUT I decided that I had never really committed 100% to a weight loss regimen. So I signed up for Weight Watchers. I followed the plan and worked hard for a year...and I lost a whopping 9lbs. Frustration of course sat in and I went back to bad habits. Which led to reaching my all time high of 297 lbs...That's right...I was 3 lbs from 300...I went to my Dr and said HELP! So we tried this med...I took it for 3 weeks at which time my blood pressure got higher and higher but I lost about 15lbs. She wouldn't let me stay on the meds in spite of the weight loss because of the high blood pressure. I've been off the med for over 3 months now and we're still trying to get my blood pressure back to what it was before. During the 3 weeks I was on the med I saw my OB/GYN for my yearly...we talked about many things, my pcos, how we'd been of birth control for over a year and weren't pregnant, how I really wanted to loss weight, how I'd done WW for 1 year and lost 9lbs...she brought up weight loss surgery again. I promised to do more research and seriously consider it. And that brings us to here. In approximately 2 months I'll have 75% of my stomach removed. I've researched all 3 options my insurance covers and through long discussions with my hubby and surgeon feel this is the best option for me.
I hope you'll support me with your prayers and encouragement. I need help, I need a tool. I don't want to die early from cardiac or diabetes complications. I want to have more adorable babies. I want to grow old and gray with my amazing husband! I want to see my baby get married and have her own babies. I want to live a life I've only ever imagined because I've always been over weight. I want to feel in control of my life, health, pcos and fertility!
Sunday, January 22, 2012
A completed pinterest project!
The beginning...
The our week one...I will occasionally update the upper left with a new verse for our family to focus on. The days are to note princesses activities or any special event we need to remember.
And this one is for our weekly menu. Maybe we'll start cooking more if we plan it out ahead of time?YAY I completed a pinterest project:) Now to convince hubby to hang them:)
Saturday, January 21, 2012
The tutu project begins
Going to look great! I'm very excited...can't wait for the tulle I ordered to arrive...4 to 7 business days is all I have to wait.
My tulle all cut and pretty:)
I'm only a little excited that the project is under way...lol
I've measured out the length I want and doubled it...then I found something that I could cut into that length...now I've wrapped my entire spool around this 36" board to get my 72" length of tulle...I bought the 6" tulle versus the bolt b/c I figure the less cutting I make the less mistakes I can make:)
A new year a new blog...
now hopefully I will update before another year passes:)
I've become a serious pinterest addict...and in that vein I am attempting to be more crafty. Preparations began a week ago and tonight I made the first of many cuts and ties...I'm attempting to make princess a tutu empire waist dress...I will post pics here of my progress thus far...I had 51yds of tulle and that proved to be far less than it will require. So placed a nice fat online order tonight for approximately 600yds of tulle...I'm hoping that will finish this one and make a Valentine's one. We shall see:)
Well I attempted to upload pics, but it's not really working. Any advice? I'd like to pin my photos to my pinterest account...
I've become a serious pinterest addict...and in that vein I am attempting to be more crafty. Preparations began a week ago and tonight I made the first of many cuts and ties...I'm attempting to make princess a tutu empire waist dress...I will post pics here of my progress thus far...I had 51yds of tulle and that proved to be far less than it will require. So placed a nice fat online order tonight for approximately 600yds of tulle...I'm hoping that will finish this one and make a Valentine's one. We shall see:)
Well I attempted to upload pics, but it's not really working. Any advice? I'd like to pin my photos to my pinterest account...
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