A change in focus

So I'm really putting effort into WW. There are various reasons for it...a lady not much older than I am dying of a heart attack, finding out I can't skydive at my current weight at many places:(, and a wager my mom made with me.

The lady was sweet and funny! She was outgoing and a mom. She called and told her hubby she wasn't feeling quite right. He urged her to go to the ER. She didn't. She called him later and he called 911. She was dead before they arrived. Now her kids don't have a mom. She wasn't to much older than me...She wasn't heavier than me either...

My mom had a heartattack at 47...I'm not there yet. I don't have the same stress in my life that she was going through. I do however have her genes and am very over weight.

One of the items on my 101 in 1001 is to go skydiving with my husband. We have a place just down the road...Hubby is just within their weight limit at 220. Me I'm not eligible for skydiving. This started me rethinking the weight loss goal I'd but on my 101 in 1001 from 10% to being below 220.

I'm worried about pharmacy school admission interviews b/c of my weight. Because of this and a comment from my ob/gyn about having more babies, I've looked into weight loss surgery. I've talked with my doctor. I've made an appt to attend an information class. I have friends and family who've had various surgeries and seen great success with them.

While waiting for the info class I mentioned to my mom and sister that I'm considering it. My mom is not thrilled with the idea. Honestly, I'm not thrilled with the idea. BUT I've attempted to lose weight in the past and haven't been successful besides about 10%...of course then it comes back on and a little more.

I've been challenged by many different things while waiting on this info class...finding out there's pretty much no way no how my insurance will cover the surgery, time and again being reminded of my past bulimia, being reminded while I don't binge/purge that I never dealt with all the emotions that led me to bulimia in the first place, realizing I need to deal with those issues and my emotional eating before even considering surgery...it would just come back on after the initial loss.

My mom called and offered me a wager...if I lose 100lbs in 14 months she'll treat me and dd to WDW. We'll still need to cover DH's part but hey that's a pretty good deal. And if she does it and I don't then we'll buy her two round trip airline tickets to us or just give her $500. We're currently debating what the punishment will be if neither of use does it.

I had signed up for WW online back in March...I'd been using it to track my weekly weigh ins:) LOL great use of $18 a month right? So this past Thursday I starting logging what I ate...thinking I'll just see how I'm doing. I don't know if it was the seeing it all written out or what but I have stayed OP the last 3 days. Honestly I've struggled to eat all the points my large self needs to eat. I'm working on that. I don't want to get to points by having a candy bar, kwim? But I'm working on it. I thought my weigh in was Saturdays...and weighed...down 0.8. I was happy:) Then couldn't log my weight...realized at some point it had gotten changed to Sundays. So I weighed this morning and I got to log 2.2lbs lost...thrilled I am!

So for now I want to lose at least 100lbs...but am said to say I can probably lose half of myself and not be too skinny...though I haven't weighed that little since elementary school.

Oh and I'm changing my 101 in 1001 from losing 10% to losing 100+lbs...figure even if I don't get the WDW trip there's no reason I can't do it in approx 2 1/2 years(time left on my 101) :)

And for now I'm cancelling my attendance at the information class for the surgery.

101 and other stuff

So I've finally gotten around to creating a 101 in 1001 and am tracking it here http://dayzeroproject.com/user/sthiessen08

Hmmm, getting that webaddress entered was more difficult than I imagined. I really should learn how to use this blog more effectively.

I'm exhausted but felt like updating so this will be random and stream of consciousness I'm sure.

Our dog passed away this past Sunday. She was an amazing dog...9 years old. Her name was Molly. She was my hubby's first roommate and he'd had her since she was a pup. She developed diabetes and went blind this past winter. We will miss her! But we are glad she's no longer sick. We're going to make her a pretty stepping stone for her marker and we put her in her favorite part of the yard near a pretty wild flower bush.

My mom, sister and sister's boyfriend were up visiting this past weekend as well. It was great to see them! And nice to get to know pip'em's boyfriend better. I miss them!

My princess turned 6 a week ago today! I'm still not use to the idea of being the mom to a six year old.

She was in her second stage performance the day of her birthday! She loves Drama Camp! She was the 6th goat, Bashful, and had to faint! She was adorable!

She had a wonderful birthday celebration Saturday night. We rented the pool for two hours for her and her friends.

She's getting to the age where I'm starting to be concerned about her friendships...some I'd like to foster, others could fall by the way side and that would be good as well.

Summer classes are kicking my tush...I'm so tired and we are covering so much material so quickly...but they will be over soon.

Then I get an entire week off! A week of NO school! And a week of no work as I took it off...I plan to read and swim, sleep, rinse, recycle, repeat.

As for the 101 I've gotten many of my tasks underway. But they days are clicking by fairly quickly already. I already have ideas for things to put on my next 101 list...

I started researching one of my tasks tonight. Skydiving...and realized I need to lose some weight first. The limit is 220 for the locations here in Iowa is 220. There's a place in Chattanooga that does 300...might be skydiving in Chattanooga instead.

And there, that's my current update...:)

Drs visit

So I finally had my appt with my Dr today to discuss surgery. We're still definitely sitting on the fence. She's not opposed to my pursuing it and will help me prove to the insurance company that it's a medical necessity IF I decide that's the course I want to pursue. So basically she agrees with me and my ob that I need to lose weight. However she agrees with me that maybe I haven't pursued all avenues on my own. It's been about three months since I joined WW and I'm not really working it. I have lost 0.8 pounds...so at least I haven't gained weight. I am using the food tracker about 3 days a week. So I definitely need to increase that to daily tracking. As a family we're working on moving more...we've bought a basketball and walk the couple blocks to the local elementary school and are working on teaching princess to dribble and shoot. We're also teaching her to ride her bike...so we're either walking with her or watching her ride up and down the block. If we stay in the yard to watch her we've started getting the ladder ball out and playing that while she practices pedaling. I need to find my pedometer and get back to wearing it and keep steadily increasing my steps. She also agrees with me that some counseling wouldn't hurt. I never was treated for my bulimia when I opted for binging/purging as a method to control my weight. And while I don't binge or purge anymore I still have the same thought processes that lead to that...So I will be looking into that. And I know if I can get my emotional eating under control it will have a drastic impact on my weight as well as my life... I don't want my eating habits to create problems for my daughter. She's healthy and happy now. I don't want to teach her to eat when she's sad, mad, happy, frustrated, ecstatic, etc. I want to be able to teach her proper coping mechanisms for life...so I must get this under control before it impacts her. My A1C was high, 7.9, but that doesn't surprise me. My kidney and liver function tests will be back on Monday. And I return in 6 months for a full blood work up...which will hopefully show improvement in the A1C. She said there are diet pills I can take if I want...but I can't risk getting pregnant if I take them so no thanks. Then she asked if I'd heard of Alli which is a class B for pregnancy, so relatively safe. And I'd quit taking it as soon as I found out I was pregnant so shouldn't be harmful. So I'll be looking into that as well...she warned me that if I have a high fat meal though it could be embarassing...it prevents the small intestine from absorbing as much fat so the grease will literally pass straight through. She also lectured me to be consistent with my metformin. This will help my A1C. It will also help control my PCOS. And could help me lose weight. She also recommended a program called Light for Life they have in the town to the west. It's $900 so cheaper than surgery but more expensive than WW. But it hooks you up with a counselor for one on one sessions and a tailored diet. They cut out all sugars though...and I don't want to give up chocolate or fruit...so it's an option and definitely something I would pursue before surgery. However I want to really give WW, where I can eat fruit and have small portions of chocolate when I want them, an honest try. I have to make more honest choices...I need to prep on the weekends for the upcoming week so we aren't taking whatever we can get our hands on but eating healthy as a family.

Life moves on

So I signed up for Weight Watchers and I tracked my points came really close to meeting them and didn't surpass them and even earned activity points a couple of days...had one day where I had ice cream at stone cold and what do I have to show for my first week...a gain of 1/5th a pound...that's right folks I get healthier and get fatter? I know I'm sure it's water weight but ARGH! This this is the exact reason I am finally researching weight loss surgery...this is the story of my life! All the way back into high school. I fnally get the bulimia under control rather than it controlling me and start hitting the gym with some guy friends and start living off of salad...and I gain 40lbs in about 3 months...I visit the Dr and they attempt to explain again about my PCOS and how it can mess up my metabolism, um gee ya think?! But they have no answers as to what to do to control it at that time... Oh and of course I was diagnosed with influenza A w/h1n1 symptoms yesterday so I'm stuck at home until Thursday...so I'm missing class and feeling horrible and it's just a horrible, terrible no good day so far. I'm super grumpy as well. But I am still tracking my points...

First Step in the Millionth Journey

Okay so I've picked back up the weight loss journey. I've made two steps this morning. Step 1 I set an appt with my Dr to discuss various options and get blood work. Of course since I'm not sick I can't see her for about 3 weeks. So step 2 I have officially joined Weight Watchers. I also weighed so I have a start weight. Some how I've managed to drop a few pounds from my all time high. We'll see what I can manage between now and the appt. I've set the appt cause it is time for my A1C and because I'm also looking into weight loss surgery...I'm at the point where I need to lose half of myself and I need help. I've talked to several friends who've had this that or the other surgery. I realize it isn't an answer but it is a springboard. I've tried so many things over the years and they just never last. I've done weight watchers and seen short term success with it before but I've never joined. So now I've joined and we'll move ahead. I figure the WLS will take forever to get approved for anyway...so if I manage to be successful for more than a month and am making significant progress on my own then I can always not move ahead with the surgery.

Extravagance gives me a kick in the rear

So we totally splurged this morning and went to an outrageously priced brunch...But then we got there and it was definitely priced appropriately for all they offered. We went to P.H.A.T Daddy's and YUM! We've been there for dinner before and the dinner is priced about the same as the brunch:) I've never paid that much for a "breakfast" before. But ya know it was fun to splurge!

Of course that was until we were wandering our way home through the back roads and I remembered last night was the first night of 1000mg of metformin...so yep splurging this morning was NOT the smart gastrointestinal idea. LOL We made it home, I thought I was going to die, and went back to bed.

So I enjoyed the brunch but we'd already decided we probably wouldn't be back except for maybe something special. And now I think we might just call one visit good enough:)

Anniversary, Smokey Eyes and Provera

Happy anniversary, happy anniversary, happy happy anniversary to me:) It's our 3rd:) And we had a wonderful, relaxing, long dinner at Outback. My fantastic MIL watched the princess so we could take our time and actually talk!

On the way we went car shopping...so many balls in the air right now. I'm just not sure if it's the right time to entertain a car payment...but Honda's 0.9% interest is making it awfully tempting. We are prayerfully considering the purchase...

Hmmm, gave smokey eyes round 2 tonight. Not sure I'll entertain a 3rd round. Think I'm just going to call it quits...I apply the shades properly but I just don't like that much makeup on my face...hubby says he could care less about "smokey" eyes, so I think I'm done attempting to have trendy eyeshadowed eyes:) And will stick to my usual...nothing or when I do bother just attempting to highlight the natural looks God gave me:)

Provera....OHHHHH MYYYYYY Goooooooooodnnnnneeeeessssss....I just took the 5th pill so 5 more to go and I'm already a weeping puddle and walking around with bouncing bruises in place of my breasts. It is good to have a regular cycle but waaahhhhwaaaaahhhhwaaaahhh. So far I'm managing to control the short fuse and minimal patience all that lovely progesterone is stirring up inside my body. I've never reacted so strongly to the provera...I really hope being back on the metformin helps regulate my cycle and I don't have to do this monthly...Oh and on the metformin front so far NO gastrointestinal side effects:) Hip hip hooray for not being smelly or tied to the toilet:) Of course I'm on the lowest dose and need to move up to two pills with tomorrow nights dose.

Too much sugar at dinner I'm all bouncy, LOL....hmmmm....I had Alice Springs Chicken with Aussie Cheese Fries and Coke, yes they do serve Coke at a select handful of restaurants here in the MidWest! My GA raised self just can't resist fountain Coke! I think if it were more prevalent it wouldn't be an issue...but it's so rare to find it here I had to indulge:) Hubby had the New York Strip w/garlic mashed potatoes and french green beans. Of course we shared bites and I brought home half of the chicken:) We shared a house salad, the yummy brown bread and then ordered the dessert sampler. We each had a bite of the carrot cake, won't be eating that again, yucky! We had chocolate and raspberry sauce for the cheese cake but probably only ate about 1/4 of it...brought the rest home for the princess...cheesecake is her favorite. She will get it tomorrow:) And of course we ate all but about 2 bites of the 1/2 chocolate thunder from down under that comes on the sampler...it's my favorite! Yes we were right little piggies...oink oink...lol

As to why Outback on our anniversary...we ate there on our honeymoon...during a blizzard in Madison Wisconsin...it was Outback or Wendys. Hubby had never eaten at Outback and we wanted a sit down restaurant, so there you have it...Outback by default is special to us!

Off to Facebook games to relax and then head to bed!

A new high, a new start

So I met with my ob/gyn yesterday for my annual visit. We've been off the pill since May. However, in August things went wonky...period in July just on time then not again til October then not again until January. So she sent me home with provera to get things started. And to help make me more regular, control the PCOS, and make me more fertile I'm back on Metformin. That's the good news and the positive comments.

Then there's the fact that my weight has reached a new all time height. Granted it's only by 1.8lbs, but seriously a new high. So depressing. I can't seem to get back into Thrive! It limits things and I don't do well with that. So here's the plan...

Back to journaling on sparkpeople.com and keeping track of the calories and fat/protein/carb distribution of my foods. As for how I'll be eating...well low calorie of course, I plan to follow Thrives! timing guidelines, and combining all the good things I learned from Thrive! combined with all the good things I've picked up from weight watcher friends. This way I can still have a little chocolate without feeling totally deprived. We'll see how it goes.

I will start wearing a pedometer then working on accomplishing 12,000 steps a day.

I will start playing the Biggest Loser Wii game I bought a year ago.

Those are the starting plans. I weighed in and recorded my weight this morning. I'll get measurements later today. Then every Saturday I'll be weighing in and doing measurements once a month.

Now I'm off to work on laundry and dishes.

Bombshell casual comments

So I don't know if it's because he turned 42 this weekend or what but my hubby says casually like he's commenting on the weather, "I think we should have two babies and wouldn't it be great if we had boys."

*dead silence*

I have my yearly on Friday...told him if his comment has more than pipe dreams he should plan to attend with me...

Taxes...

I've worked on taxes all day...we're stuck at home while princess recovers from Influenza A & B, I fight it off w/help from Tamiflu, and our 2nd car is being obnoxious and not starting...I'm tired, I'm drained, I'm annoyed and in an all around bad mood. I haven't had a moment of quiet all day and am in desperate need of some just quiet time. Life is good overall but doing the taxes is stressful. We have to keep better records! Oh well we start with that this year:)

Hormones up down and all around

Attempting to work but sitting here crying while I watch 16 & Pregnant. Such a heart wrenching decision that young girl is making...having an aunt and uncle adopt her lil' girl. I've spent the morning playing with my princess to keep us out of the repairman's way. It got so late that we decided to skip daycare and she'd just stay home today...so like I said I'm attempting to work and she's playing in her room. But I can't imagine giving my child away to someone else to raise and now I'm all in tears with this playing in the background.

We're not trying to conceive but we're not preventing it from happening...and it hasn't happened. I go for my yearly in Feb. and we need to decide if we're going to keep the status quo or start trying...I've been watching a ton of baby shows lately and I've got the bug...but then I try to be logical and look at our lives...I'm in school, so not sure getting pregnant now would be ideal. We don't have a spare bedroom, so there's another mark against it. And I could go on and on...which is why we're just not interferring at the moment. If and when it's our time we'll get pregnant and have a beautiful baby. We already have our princess, but she's 5 going on 18:) So we definitely don't have a baby in the house anymore:)

Okay back to attempt to work some more:)

That's my excuse give it back to me!

So one of my many excuses for one of my many things on my bucketlist...Complete a 5k. I mean really so many people have done it, surely I can do one in my lifetime...but I never do it. Why? Well that's easy I'm too overweight and too out of shape...it would do me more harm than good to complete one. So Biggest Loser just yanked that out of my arsenal...as that's the beginning challenge...the teams are completing 5k's on treadmills. Granted they get to work with their partner and trade off...but lots of them aren't trading off and guess what...no one has even vomited yet much less died. So I guess that's something on my bucket list I should work toward this year...Rats!

Bidding a fond farewell to 2010

2010 was an amazing year for us, not too much on the bad front and saw plenty on the good front.

January saw a new year and a new semester. The classes for the semester were Human Anatomy & Physiology II w/lab, Statistics and Microbiology. 3 classes but 12 credits. It also saw a still sick from H1N1 me...this started back in October, come on already. Little did I know I was in for a few more months of extremely poor health.

In February hubby and I celebrated our 2nd anniversary and hubby's 41st birthday! We also had a family photo shoot. I was extremely pleased with the pics! It was the first time hubby and I had professional pics of the two of us. And princess had some adorable shots!

Throughout the year we traveled like maniacs...In March on my spring break we visited two very dear friends! One in Kansas and the other in Minnesota. We stopped back home to see hubby/daddy on our way from Kansas to Minnesota. We also sold our second home in the month of March what an extreme financial blessing that was. We were able to pay off the loan on our car with the leftover.

In April I moved further into my 30s by turning 31. I'm definitely enjoying being thirty something much more than I enjoyed my 20s.

In May my health was reaching a peak of miserableness. I was still sick from H1N1 complications. I was taking meds for this that and the other and then meds for side effects caused by those meds. I ended up going to the ER for a suspected appendicitis...turns out it was just a massively enlarged liver with lots of dark spots. Hubby and I started Thrive! for my mom's Mother's Day present. After the trip to the ER I was removed from all meds to see what that did for me. May also brought the end of the semester with a solid 3.0. I wasn't upset with the 3.0 seeing as I missed at least half of all classes due to being sick. Also made the decision to not take any classes over summer semester to focus on getting healthy and to spend more time with my family!

In June due to Thrive! and lots of prayer a CT of my liver showed that it was back to normal size and perfectly perfect. This was excellent news, but mildly frustrating because we had put out so much money and still are paying on some of those tests, etc that were required for no answer. The CT confirmed what we were already realizing, I was finally getting better. Hubby and I decided I would stay off of all meds, including birth control. Princess and I were spending lots of time enjoying the pool. I also spent a lot of time running her to all her activities: tball, fun in the sun, get your motor running, swim lessons, and creative dramatics camp. I think that's all of them...should have kept track better:) We also paid a visit to Minnesota to visit friends again. Princess caught her first fish and I went on my first kayak ride. Love kayaking! Can't wait to live near enough to bother with getting my own! Oh I also started teaching basic skill computer classes at the library where I work as a very part time assisstant librarian.

In July Princess celebrated her 5th birthday! It so doesn't seem like it's been 5 years already.

In August we got the ball rolling on a very important task and a task that I can hopefully share with all my online peps before too many more months have past. Hubby and I decided I would take a complete online class semester for the fall so princess and I could take an amazing 6 week adventure. We began the adventure this month. We headed out from Iowa, stayed over night in St Louis. Made our way to Paducah KY where we met some online friends:) Then down to my hometown of Jasper GA. Hubby joined us in GA after about a week. We spent 4 or so days visiting family and friends. Then hubby and I headed to Lexington KY for a business conference. We really enjoyed our drive/ride through the Appalachain Mtns. We stayed over night in Pigeon Forge Tn. Hubby is still talking about the brick oven pizza we ate while there:)

This adventure rolled us into September. Hubby and I attended the work conference with hubby's brother and wife. We met tons of great people. We heard lots of great speakers. Got to see LeeAnn Womack perform live and perform one of my all time favorite songs, I hope you dance. Hubby left with bil/sil headed home. I returned to GA for the princess and to continue our journey. We stopped in NC multiple times to visit great friends who we hadn't seen in way too long! I finally got to go to the Outerbanks and loved it! Even when we were getting towed off the beach, lol. From the Outerbanks we headed to Virginia Beach. My aunt and uncle were traveling at that time also and our paths crossed at this point! It was nice to see them and let princess see an RV campground. We stayed on the beach for a couple of days, had to catch up on homework and we just needed the break from traveling. We were at the same hotel the Blue Angels were staying...Princess had a blast watching them fly from our balcony and running into them in the lobby. She called them the Blue Fairies:) LOL From VA we headed on up the coast with stops here and there for whatever caught our eye. We did drive through tours of Princeton, Harvard and Yale. We saw the castle in Ipswich MA. We made our way up the coast all the way into Maine. We LOVED the NH coast! We visited some more friends in Vermont! We stayed here a couple of days! Loved the time we spent with friends! We visited Ben & Jerry's home base, and Cabot's creamery! Yum yum yum at both places and very interesting! Once we pointed the car west though we were ready to be home! We met up with one more friend in upstate NY after visiting Niagara Falls and then made haste getting home! We missed hubby/daddy and wanted our own beds. We cut the 6 week adventure short by a couple of days so it wasn't quite 6 weeks....but it was close to 8000 miles.

October was loads of fun with Halloween. Princess was little Miss Red, White & Blue in honor of a friend of ours who'd just returned from Afghanastan and another who just left for the same place. We went to the pumpkin farm this month with bil, sil and niece. We had a blast! Princess loves spending time with her older cousin and we just adore our niece! Princess was able to start Girl Scouts as a daisy and Awanas as a Spark upon our return home.

November brought Thanksgiving. We have so very much to be thankful for! Our princess recently asked Jesus to live in her heart! We are thrilled and amazed to know that she made this decision! We are really very extremely blessed! I cooked my second ever turkey and my first ever to be eaten by people outside of my house. It was yummy! We made a fancy dressing that was delish fresh! However, the recipe gets low points and will probably not be repeated because it was absolutely yucky once it wasn't fresh and was not reheatable...the dogs enjoyed the leftovers!

We thought we were finished traveling for the year until December came along. Hubby's work shut down on 12/17 not to reopen until 1/3, and my mom got offered lots of overtime during the Christmas to New Years break. We also found out bil, sil and niece would be out of town on Christmas so we needed to have Christmas with hubby's family early. I'm pretty neurotic about princess waking up in her own bed on Christmas morning. But we reached a compromise...she always wakes up in her bed the same day we celebrate Christmas with hubby's family. So Santa agreed to come early and coincide with the altered time. We had a very blessed Christmas season! Wonderful time with family, talking about the true reason for Christmas with princess, praying together as a family, and of course wonderful presents representing our love for one another and our thankfulness for all Christ did for us. Like I said Santa came early, the 19th. This allowed us to head to GA on the 23rd. We were going to leave on the 22nd but princess had a Christmas present swap the afternoon of the 22nd, and a Girl Scout lock in at the local bowling alley that night as well. So we picked her up way too early on the 23rd and headed south. We stayed overnight near Huntsville AL and made it to Nana's house on the 24th. We were snowed in for Christmas...yes GA had a white christmas this year:) But were able to celebrate with most of my mom's family on the 26th at Papaw's. This was my first Christmas there since my Granny past...if helped a lot that it wasn't the normal Christmas gathering...I still missed her presence like crazy! We had a fun time though! We headed back home a couple days later. This was the calmest trip to GA we've had....snowed in = not able to visit lots of people. We were able to have Pueb with some good friends! And of course Nana and princess got tons of time together! Was great getting to see my sissy also! We were home a couple days before NYE and rang in the New Year with friends and games!

That doesn't even cover our year but it's my attempt at an abbreviated headline time summary:)