A friend has challenged myself and others to accomplish 16 goals in 2016...now to come up with 16 goals.
1. Blog more ~ at least weekly
2. Complete 2 5Ks...official or unofficial...
3. Complete the 2016 Reading Challenge (details found here http://modernmrsdarcy.com/2016-reading-challenge/ but basically 12 books in 12 months from 12 categories)
4. Complete 5 tasks on my old 101 in 1001 dayzeroproject list (made the original list in 2011...my 1001 expired in 2014...most items are still items I want to complete though...so I continue)
5. Complete at least 1 of the daily tasks per week of Declutter 365 Home Storage Solutions 101 (https://www.facebook.com/groups/declutter365/) I know I will not do every daily task, but this way I will at least do 52 tasks toward decluttering this year.
6. Take back control of my body...weigh in at least every 2 weeks, measurements monthly, myfitnesspal tracking at least 7 days a month, wear charge HR and work on increasing steps
7. More family one on one time: 2 dates a month with mom/princess, 2 dates a month with dad/princess, 1 date a month with mom/dad
8. Memorize 12 Bible verses (1 per month)
9. Complete at least one hand/foot print canvas art for each kiddo
10. Do not load Starbucks card with more than $25 a month
11. Continue with the clothing purge by doing the hanger trick...all hangers currently facing one way...as laundry is cleaned and putaway place hangers facing opposite direction...every 3, 4 or 6 months purge the hangers that are still facing the original way
12. Have at least 1 overnight trip with hubby...even if it's only a 1 night overnight trip
13. Complete Yoga with Adriene Camp...whether I do all in January or not... https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCFKE7WVJfvaHW5q283SxchA
14. Visit 2 or more new "touristy" things in Iowa...
15. Pay off 3 credit cards...2 are already in plan and will be paid off before February...added the 3rd for a little challenge
16. Do not overstock my pantry, freezer, etc. I didn't grow up food poor or anything but I have issues with free space in my pantries and freezer...which makes no sense because I live 2 blocks from the grocery store...if I don't have it and need/want it I can go get it. So first step in this is creating an inventory and then no major shopping trips until we have significant empty space.
Sunday, January 3, 2016
Another year, another attempt at blogging
So it appears I haven't posted since 2012...it's 2016 now. Wow how my life has changed since 2012. I'm now a mother of two. I no longer work. I attend college full time. I begin pharmacy school later this year, where is still up in the air...I have accepted a seat at Bill Gatton College of Pharmacy at East Tennessee State University. However, it would be easier for our family if I get offered a seat at University of Iowa. We are waiting to hear from UI...and that's an entirely different blog.
I'm on winter break right now. Lots is happening. It's a new year so there are lots of new resolutions as well. One of them is to blog at least once a week...So we shall see how that goes. I rarely have time alone, much less time to compose my thoughts...so welcome to my stream of consciousness, enjoy or don't, as you please.
And speaking of that never having time alone...that's all for now:)
I'm on winter break right now. Lots is happening. It's a new year so there are lots of new resolutions as well. One of them is to blog at least once a week...So we shall see how that goes. I rarely have time alone, much less time to compose my thoughts...so welcome to my stream of consciousness, enjoy or don't, as you please.
And speaking of that never having time alone...that's all for now:)
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Vlogging
I've got a Vlog y'all....snowywhite79 over on youtube. It's all about WLS so only bother if you're at all interested in that journey. It's really rather therapeutic...I'm enjoying it. I enjoy blogging too...but am finding vlogging a little less time consuming...so at the moment that's where most of my resources are going...plus I can vlog a lot easier than I can blog:)
Monday, July 30, 2012
Lonely...
Agh who would have thought moving an hour away would mean I now have no local friends...there was an issue prior to moving that was causing me to question a relationship BUT I have such a hard time letting "friends" go...makes my heart hurt. *sigh*
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Life update:)
So lots going on lately...got registered for fall classes...intro to biology w/lab and nutrition. These are both anytime anywhere classes so I will be able to do them from home while I recover from surgery:)
Surgery...I was told approx 2 to 3 weeks ago that I should be submitted to insurance within a week. Called insurance today to check status...and they haven't received the paperwork. Called my financial advisor at the surgeons and left a message. No call back yet.
Tonight at work I was working, working working and then stood up to change tasks...about fell on my butt. So I finished task I got up for while dealing with dizziness. Then went up to have my bp checked...wahoo for 146/99...yep...stupid bp was high again...called my dr...she adjusted how I take my med and wants me to monitor my bp daily...if it doesn't improve in a few days come on in...*sigh* Checked it at the grocery two blocks from the house, figure I can go over there everyday, and it was 127/89...so better but still high. Oh well just another comorbidity that will prove to the insurance I need this surgery.
Princess is quickly approaching 7...7 years old! And she's got drama camp coming up. And she's so full of sass and attitude, that's probably why my bp is high.
I'm addicted to One Tree Hill and getting caught up thanks to Netflix streaming:) I've made it to season 8.
I'm reading Hunger for Happiness and have Fifty Shades of Grey on the nightstand.
I'm not taking summer classes but feel as if VSG and WLS journeys is my class. I'm reading lots of personal stories and listening/watching lots of personal journeys on youtube. Obesityhelp.com and vsgtalk.com as well as soulcysters.com have given me lots of info. Then there's the 2 inch ring binder my surgeons office gave me.
In the last month we've moved and Princess and I have taken 2 trips. We went to a very good friends 40th birthday sesame street themed celebration in Minneapolis MN for a long weekend. Then we went for a week long trip to GA that was much fun. We spent a ton of time with family and unfortunately very little time with friends. However, sometimes sacrifices must be made. We can't travel for as long now that I have a grown up job.
On the job front, I truly love it! I've had an issues with one particular co worker talking about me behind my back. I had a discussion with my boss and have moved on...thankfully with my shift I don't have to overlap too much with this person. I don't think I'd mind it if this person would at least attempt to get to know me...but oh well. I'm developing some friends there and really enjoy the work. So I will continue to pursue my education to become a pharmacist. I will not delve into the fear Obamacare has placed on me and my husband about my ability to payback my student loans once I've completed said degree.
So that's my update!
Surgery...I was told approx 2 to 3 weeks ago that I should be submitted to insurance within a week. Called insurance today to check status...and they haven't received the paperwork. Called my financial advisor at the surgeons and left a message. No call back yet.
Tonight at work I was working, working working and then stood up to change tasks...about fell on my butt. So I finished task I got up for while dealing with dizziness. Then went up to have my bp checked...wahoo for 146/99...yep...stupid bp was high again...called my dr...she adjusted how I take my med and wants me to monitor my bp daily...if it doesn't improve in a few days come on in...*sigh* Checked it at the grocery two blocks from the house, figure I can go over there everyday, and it was 127/89...so better but still high. Oh well just another comorbidity that will prove to the insurance I need this surgery.
Princess is quickly approaching 7...7 years old! And she's got drama camp coming up. And she's so full of sass and attitude, that's probably why my bp is high.
I'm addicted to One Tree Hill and getting caught up thanks to Netflix streaming:) I've made it to season 8.
I'm reading Hunger for Happiness and have Fifty Shades of Grey on the nightstand.
I'm not taking summer classes but feel as if VSG and WLS journeys is my class. I'm reading lots of personal stories and listening/watching lots of personal journeys on youtube. Obesityhelp.com and vsgtalk.com as well as soulcysters.com have given me lots of info. Then there's the 2 inch ring binder my surgeons office gave me.
In the last month we've moved and Princess and I have taken 2 trips. We went to a very good friends 40th birthday sesame street themed celebration in Minneapolis MN for a long weekend. Then we went for a week long trip to GA that was much fun. We spent a ton of time with family and unfortunately very little time with friends. However, sometimes sacrifices must be made. We can't travel for as long now that I have a grown up job.
On the job front, I truly love it! I've had an issues with one particular co worker talking about me behind my back. I had a discussion with my boss and have moved on...thankfully with my shift I don't have to overlap too much with this person. I don't think I'd mind it if this person would at least attempt to get to know me...but oh well. I'm developing some friends there and really enjoy the work. So I will continue to pursue my education to become a pharmacist. I will not delve into the fear Obamacare has placed on me and my husband about my ability to payback my student loans once I've completed said degree.
So that's my update!
Friday, June 15, 2012
Insurance hoops
This morning I met with the psychologist for the last mandatory session prior to surgery. I've completed my 6 month supervised diet. I've attended the mandatory support group session. Now we wait. First we wait for the dictation of all the appts to be complete. That should take 1 to 2 weeks. Then they will submit me to insurance for approval. That should take from 1 to 6 weeks. So it's looking like I'm on track to have 85% of my stomach removed come the middle of August. I'm excited and nervous. I'm very excited that the majority of the Ghrelin hormones will be removed.
In other news I got my first pedicure last weekend...and yesterday I left the Drs office with a very strong antibiotic because I have an infection in my left big toe...sigh. No more professional pedicures for me! Will stick to the fun mom/daughter bonding ones we do at home.
And the nice surprise yesterday...I'm down to 279. I went away last weekend and ate out and ate out, one place including The Melting Pot and I managed to lose a couple of pounds! I'm super excited that the changes I'm making are working!
Those changes combined with the tool I'll be getting in August make me hopefully that there's a new life unfolding at my feet!
In other news I got my first pedicure last weekend...and yesterday I left the Drs office with a very strong antibiotic because I have an infection in my left big toe...sigh. No more professional pedicures for me! Will stick to the fun mom/daughter bonding ones we do at home.
And the nice surprise yesterday...I'm down to 279. I went away last weekend and ate out and ate out, one place including The Melting Pot and I managed to lose a couple of pounds! I'm super excited that the changes I'm making are working!
Those changes combined with the tool I'll be getting in August make me hopefully that there's a new life unfolding at my feet!
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
My history...
A quick review of my weight for the last 33 years...I don't remember being overweight when I was very little. I see pictures of myself and I was a fairly normal sized kiddo. Then puberty started kicking in...and it wasn't recognized that it was puberty because I was sooooo young. However, once those lovely hormones kicked in I started gaining weight. I was an active child...I played tball, softball, basketball, was in gymnastics and baton. I loved to climb trees and be outside. I'd pretend my nap pad was a hurdle and try to jump it in preparation for my future as a track star. I loved to ride my bike for hours at a time. I've always adored swimming so at any opportunity. Once we moved out of town I'd explore and climb through the woods. I eventually started being less and less active...and that didn't help the weight at all.
So key events/weights I recall: 5th grade leaving the clinic having weighed in at 164...and my mom's comment of "well I knew you were big but I didn't realize you were that thick as well." That means in 5th grade my BMI was 28.4 and that's overweight my friends. (I was already the height I am now.)
Between 5th grade and graduation I gained up to 195. So when I graduated high school my BMI was 33.7 and obese but at least only moderately obese.
The first time I got married I was 20 and weighed 222. So my BMI was 38.4 and severely obese.
When I went for my first ob appt with princess I weighed in at 263. BMI of 45.5 and morbidly obese...
When I moved to IA to plan my wedding and start my life with my amazing hubby I weighed in at 254. I'd actually been able to lose some weight by living off of lean cuisine's and hitting the Y for Zumba 5 days a week and weights 3 of those 5. BMI of 43.9 and still morbidly obese.
Earlier this year I hit my all time high of 297 making my BMI 51.4. Well at least it almost matched my waist size...? Seriously that's ridiculous! And yes that means I was yet again morbidly obese...but is there a super morbidly obese category, b/c I should so be in that one.
I'm currently 281 with a BMI of 48.6 so at least I'm below the 50s...still morbidly obese.
Plenty of comments I remember from my life of being overweight:
6th grade from a boy desk mate that I won't name though I remember...and I don't think he was attempting to make me cry myself to sleep that night..."too bad girls can't play football you'd be a great defensive blocker"
Many times over the many years from friends to my face or behind my back "try Jenny Craig" "try weight watchers" "put the fork down" "just walk away from the food."
From middle school through sophomore year I was bulimic. This didn't help me lose weight but it did help me not gain. It helped me feel in control of my life when I felt so out of control in so many other areas.
I'm definitely an emotional eater and that began way back...like 4 or 5. I'd go to my dad's for the weekends and be miserable. One of the perks was going to the grocery store and picking out ice cream. I'd fix a big bowl and then I'd sit and mix the ice cream with a spoon until it was a nice milk shaky texture. It would take hours for me to eat one bowl of ice cream. However, this allowed me to not not interact with my dad or his parents. It helped me escape. I warned my husband when I first met him that if he ever caught me swirling ice cream to rip the bowl away from me and force me to talk.
When my grandmother fell and broke her hip. When she didn't pull through the surgery, when she was in icu and coding, fighting for her life...the time frame was approx 36 hrs...I ate 3 big bags of peanut m&ms...yep that's right...3 of the biggest bags you can buy.
I've begun to recognize my bad behaviors. I'm learning to realize food doesn't offer comfort. I'm learning to accept my emotions and deal with them when they happen...I've got a long way to go both in the lbs I need to lose and in the growing I need to do. I'm excited for my surgery because it will be a huge tool to help me, force me, assist me, encourage me to continue to grow and become healthy and whole.
Through the years I've tried many diets, many work out routines, etc. I would lose just a smidge...but then hit a wall...whether it was emotional or complications from the PCOS I'd give up. With this surgery there is no giving up, it's irreversible! The last therapy session I had I made a casual comment that I've thought about almost constantly since..."PCOS isn't the reason I got to almost 300 lbs. It didn't help, but it's not the only reason." For the first time in my life I quit leaning on that crutch...and over the last month I've repeated that to myself...I believe it. Now I'm starting to embrace it...I am the reason I got to almost 300 lbs...PCOS is only one of the many reasons. It's the one reason I cannot change...but this surgery will help me fight it. Therapy will help me fight myself. God will give me the strength. The love and support of my friends and family will help me stay encouraged to win this battle that I've lost for 33 years. I want to be whole. I want to be healthy. I want to be the lady God created me to be...I want more. I want to give more. I want to be more.
So key events/weights I recall: 5th grade leaving the clinic having weighed in at 164...and my mom's comment of "well I knew you were big but I didn't realize you were that thick as well." That means in 5th grade my BMI was 28.4 and that's overweight my friends. (I was already the height I am now.)
Between 5th grade and graduation I gained up to 195. So when I graduated high school my BMI was 33.7 and obese but at least only moderately obese.
The first time I got married I was 20 and weighed 222. So my BMI was 38.4 and severely obese.
When I went for my first ob appt with princess I weighed in at 263. BMI of 45.5 and morbidly obese...
When I moved to IA to plan my wedding and start my life with my amazing hubby I weighed in at 254. I'd actually been able to lose some weight by living off of lean cuisine's and hitting the Y for Zumba 5 days a week and weights 3 of those 5. BMI of 43.9 and still morbidly obese.
Earlier this year I hit my all time high of 297 making my BMI 51.4. Well at least it almost matched my waist size...? Seriously that's ridiculous! And yes that means I was yet again morbidly obese...but is there a super morbidly obese category, b/c I should so be in that one.
I'm currently 281 with a BMI of 48.6 so at least I'm below the 50s...still morbidly obese.
Plenty of comments I remember from my life of being overweight:
6th grade from a boy desk mate that I won't name though I remember...and I don't think he was attempting to make me cry myself to sleep that night..."too bad girls can't play football you'd be a great defensive blocker"
Many times over the many years from friends to my face or behind my back "try Jenny Craig" "try weight watchers" "put the fork down" "just walk away from the food."
From middle school through sophomore year I was bulimic. This didn't help me lose weight but it did help me not gain. It helped me feel in control of my life when I felt so out of control in so many other areas.
I'm definitely an emotional eater and that began way back...like 4 or 5. I'd go to my dad's for the weekends and be miserable. One of the perks was going to the grocery store and picking out ice cream. I'd fix a big bowl and then I'd sit and mix the ice cream with a spoon until it was a nice milk shaky texture. It would take hours for me to eat one bowl of ice cream. However, this allowed me to not not interact with my dad or his parents. It helped me escape. I warned my husband when I first met him that if he ever caught me swirling ice cream to rip the bowl away from me and force me to talk.
When my grandmother fell and broke her hip. When she didn't pull through the surgery, when she was in icu and coding, fighting for her life...the time frame was approx 36 hrs...I ate 3 big bags of peanut m&ms...yep that's right...3 of the biggest bags you can buy.
I've begun to recognize my bad behaviors. I'm learning to realize food doesn't offer comfort. I'm learning to accept my emotions and deal with them when they happen...I've got a long way to go both in the lbs I need to lose and in the growing I need to do. I'm excited for my surgery because it will be a huge tool to help me, force me, assist me, encourage me to continue to grow and become healthy and whole.
Through the years I've tried many diets, many work out routines, etc. I would lose just a smidge...but then hit a wall...whether it was emotional or complications from the PCOS I'd give up. With this surgery there is no giving up, it's irreversible! The last therapy session I had I made a casual comment that I've thought about almost constantly since..."PCOS isn't the reason I got to almost 300 lbs. It didn't help, but it's not the only reason." For the first time in my life I quit leaning on that crutch...and over the last month I've repeated that to myself...I believe it. Now I'm starting to embrace it...I am the reason I got to almost 300 lbs...PCOS is only one of the many reasons. It's the one reason I cannot change...but this surgery will help me fight it. Therapy will help me fight myself. God will give me the strength. The love and support of my friends and family will help me stay encouraged to win this battle that I've lost for 33 years. I want to be whole. I want to be healthy. I want to be the lady God created me to be...I want more. I want to give more. I want to be more.
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